Info Mauritius        
Urlaub Info Mauritius
   
Webcam Mauritius
 
Mauritius Wetter
  Mauritius Forum  
Mauritius Bilder
 
Mauritius Unterkunft
   
Mauritius English Home
   

 

 
               

...different Businessmodels ! Part 1

Das Board für die kleine Abwechslung. Hast Du was lustiges im Web gefunden oder was sonst nirgends reinpasst, dann hier rein!
Forumsregeln

...different Businessmodels ! Part 1

Beitragvon mac » Fr Mär 09, 2007 20:51

Hi,

bei der Suche nach dem geeigneten Business-Modell
für eine erfolgreiche MRU-Firmengründung sollte man
sich natürlich erstmal ausführlich informieren.
Hier also der erste Teil:

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays
you to shoot one, milk the other, and then
pours the milk down the drain.

Benutzeravatar
mac
spécialist moris
spécialist moris
 
Beiträge: 378
Bilder: 507
Registriert: Mo Dez 22, 2003 22:16
Wohnort: Düsseldorf

Info Mauritius Annonce
 

Beitragvon mac » Mi Apr 11, 2007 13:43

...und hier noch ein paar länderspezifische Modelle:

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do
an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of
four cows. You are surprised when one cow
drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
analysts stating you have downsized and are
reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows .
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and
run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch
any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US
government to find alternatives to milk
production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English. Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders


Noch weitere Modelle ?

Gruß, Markus
Benutzeravatar
mac
spécialist moris
spécialist moris
 
Beiträge: 378
Bilder: 507
Registriert: Mo Dez 22, 2003 22:16
Wohnort: Düsseldorf

Beitragvon Werner » Fr Apr 27, 2007 16:05

Jaaa...mac.: Weitere Modelle.
...ist wirklich interessant...und wir haben Alle gelacht. :mrgreen:
Münzen + Scheine von Mauritius

http://www.mauritius-tipps.de/werner/index.html
Benutzeravatar
Werner
moris forum membre a'élite
moris forum membre a'élite
 
Beiträge: 1767
Bilder: 74
Registriert: Sa Dez 18, 2004 21:31
Wohnort: Wiesbaden

Beitragvon mac » Do Mai 03, 2007 21:33

hey Werner,

...ok... hier sind noch ein paar:

BRITISH CORPORATION: 
You have two cows.  They are mad. 
They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.??

ITALIAN CORPORATION: 
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.??

RUSSIAN CORPORATION: 
You have two cows.  You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 12 cows.  You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.??

SWISS CORPORATION: 
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.??

BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: 
You have two cows.  You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. 
Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.??

INDIAN CORPORATION: 
You have two cows.  You worship both of them.??

CHINESE CORPORATION: 
You have two cows.  You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest
the newsman who reported on them.??

ISRAELI CORPORATION: 
There are these two Jewish cows, right?  They open a milk factory,
an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their
calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
Benutzeravatar
mac
spécialist moris
spécialist moris
 
Beiträge: 378
Bilder: 507
Registriert: Mo Dez 22, 2003 22:16
Wohnort: Düsseldorf

Beitragvon Stony » Do Mai 03, 2007 22:27

:lol: - gibts da noch mehr?

vieleicht so irgendwie

MAURITIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Where?

:Q
Don't Drink and Navigate! &
Skype don't type ;-)
Also - wenn Sie DAS Lesen können brauchen Sie keine Brille .......
Benutzeravatar
Stony
moris forum membre a'élite
moris forum membre a'élite
 
Beiträge: 616
Bilder: 27
Registriert: Di Apr 19, 2005 11:45
Wohnort: Amstetten, westl NÖ

Beitragvon mac » Di Sep 18, 2007 20:42

Sehr geehrte Wirtschaftswissenschaftler,

...einen hab ich noch gefunden:

ENRON CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company,
using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute
a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
through an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority
shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The Enron annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Benutzeravatar
mac
spécialist moris
spécialist moris
 
Beiträge: 378
Bilder: 507
Registriert: Mo Dez 22, 2003 22:16
Wohnort: Düsseldorf


Zurück zu Spaß Ecke & OffTopic



Wer ist online?

Mitglieder in diesem Forum: 0 Mitglieder und 1 Gast